Not a good day (or month, or year)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAriDxTeed8

Well, you're my friend, (that's what you told me)
And can you see (what's inside of me)
Many times we've been out drinking
And many times we've shared our thoughts
But did you ever, ever notice, the kind of thoughts I got
Well you know I have a love, a love for everyone I know
And you know I have a drive to live I won't let go
But can you see it's opposition, comes arising up sometimes
That it's dreadful antiposition, comes blacking in my mind

And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And did you know how much I love you
Is a hope that somehow you, you
Can save me from this darkness

Well I hope that someday buddy
We have peace in our lives
Together or apart
Alone or with our wives
And we can stop our whoring
And pull the smiles inside
And light it up forever
And never go to sleep
My best unbeaten brother
This isn't all I see

Oh no, I see a darkness
Oh no, I see a darkness
Oh no, I see a darkness
Oh no, I see a darkness
And did you know how much I love you
Is a hope that somehow you, you
Can save me from this darkness

Hello friends! It's been a while, hasn't it? I took the summer off in an attempt to recharge, and get a little direction happening in my life. I dubbed the season "the summer of Hooper", and managed to cross a few items off my bucket list. I quit smoking in April, managed to run 10kms, and rode my motorcycle to Cape Breton, NS and around the Cabot trail. I drummed for a considerable number of shows, and finally sold my house. I was able to teach my son how to ride a bicycle, ride a tube behind a boat, and spent a great deal of time with him in general. It's been a whirlwind of a summer, but a wonderful experience in all. 

So, what's with the gloomy tune in this post? Well, I guess one can try to stay busy, but reality can keep pace on any given day. I'm just feeling pretty down lately, so I hope you can indulge me and tolerate my grumblings. I fear that my list of goals were thinly veiled to hide the fears I have yet to face; I'm embarking on a pretty nasty financial reality, and at some point I need to admit that I'm struggling emotionally with my view on the world. I'm growing very weary of feeling bad about myself, and my dwindling strength to deal with it is concerning me. It would also seem that there are still no shortage of people with poor intentions about, and that just keeps dragging me back down to ground level. I am definitely trying my best to improve myself, maintain a great outlook on life, but the cynicism is hard to deny. I thought originally that if I keep my goals realistic, I would actually achieve them.  Apparently, even simple desires are beyond my reach it seems. I certainly don't mean to gripe about my own issues, but in general I feel pretty bad about a lot of the crap people have to go through. It's pretty heartbreaking to think about what people can and will do to each other, and there is no end in sight. This is nothing new of course, I'm just not as well-equipped as I once was to deal with it. I'd give quite a bit to have a little piece of confidence in my portfolio these days, but for now it eludes me.Again, I apologize for such a dreary post, but I'm hurting pretty bad these days. I'll try to do a better job next time.