Random thoughts

So this is not a motorcycle post; more of some of the thoughts that occupy my mind these days. Its been 6 or so months since my separation, and it's been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster since that time. At some point, I would say it's turned into quite a blur. I find that these days my current state is quite unusual, at least to me.
 I'm normally quite busy, focused, and assertive with the day to day experience of life. Now, on one hand, I'm finding that my role as a father is sharpened and clear, and moving in a very positive direction. My son had a very rough patch for a while, but thank God he is such a bright and resilient little dude, and has shown such a tireless promise of happiness and growth that leaves me in awe of what a miracle he truly is. He has given me a gift I cannot begin to describe, and it really brings tears to my eyes when I consider the gravity of what being his Daddy really means.
 My own internal struggle however, is that in direct contrast to the connection I feel with him, everything else is somewhat surreal. I guess in some strange way I'm detached from all else that was once normal to me, but there is some degree of comfort with that. I have absolutely no clue what the future holds, but I do know that I need to evolve somehow. I feel that in large part I became my job, my bills, my possessions, etc. How strange it is to want to be rid of everything I thought gave me comfort. The transition is as vague as ever right now, but what has been absolutely destroying me is not knowing the depth of my own strength to make the right decisions as I go forward. I know that I crave some serious change, but have not yet found my path. Hell of a time to need to "find myself" at almost 40 years old, lol. I guess my fear is the fact I know exactly who I am. I just haven't found my place in the world, and that is tearing me apart.
 For now, it's all about my son. Beyond all the other stuff, I absolutely cherish every moment I have with him. Watching him grow and learn, seeing him smile, being a big part of his life truly puts perspective on everything else. Perhaps I can find the right path after all.